Last week I had the opportunity to return to my alma mater, the University of Alabama, and give a talk to students in the communications department. This event was hosted by the Capstone Association of of Black Journalists (CABJ), UA’s chapter of the National Association of Black Journalists (NABJ). I was honored to speak at this gathering because not only am I a graduate of of Alabama, but I was once president of CABJ.
The CABJ faculty adviser who asked me to address the students asked that I simply share with them three things I wish someone would have told me when I was in college. Believe it or not, that was quite easy for me to do. I know exactly what I wish I could go back and tell my younger self.
“Don’t be afraid to leave home or to go back.”
I grew up in Birmingham and like most folks from Alabama I spent my teen years talking about how I couldn’t wait to leave. And I did. First in short spurts, doing an internship at The Courier-Journal in Louisville, Ky., the summer of 2002 and then returning to Louisville the following summer for an internship with the city’s Associated Press bureau. Then in 2003 I moved to California for grad school. I went to UC Berkeley for my master’s and I spent some time in Seattle doing an internship at The Seattle Times. After I graduated from Berkeley I went back to Louisville to work as a full-time features reporter. (You probably noticed the Louisville theme. Yes, there was a boy involved. Yes, he’s now my husband.)
So I left home, just as I had hoped, but each time I had the opportunity to leave home I was completely terrified – especially when I went to California and to Seattle because I was so far away from home and I knew no one there when I arrived. I found the woman I lived with in Seattle on Craig’s List!
But it’s OK to be scared. In fact, my life’s mantra is a quote by Eleanor Roosevelt who once said: “Do one thing every day that scares you.”
I grew so much as a person and as a writer when I was away from home, so I believe that everyone should be willing to leave home. But I also think that you shouldn’t be afraid to go back.
I moved back to Birmingham in 2009 and I spent my first couple of years back thinking I’d made a huge mistake. But within the past year I have realized that it was one of the best decisions I could have made, which leads me to the next piece of advice I would give my younger self:
“Things may not turn out the way you planned, and that’s OK.”
I spent my teen years not only hoping to leave Birmingham but also dreaming of starting my own magazine.
I wanted to be a media maven.
I had it all planned out. After studying journalism in college I would move to New York and soon get hired at Essence where I’d work my way to the top to become editor-in-chief like my idol Susan L. Taylor. Then, after I’d made my mark, I would start a magazine of my own.
But after grad school my magazine dreams were deferred.
My plans to live in New York faded once I fell in love with and married a man who preferred living in a smaller city. I snagged a features writing gig right out of grad school, but as the print journalism industry began to suffer, as magazines folded and newspapers laid off staff, the idea of starting a magazine became laughable.
As things started to get rough at my paper in Louisville I started looking for a Plan B. When I was in graduate school I taught communications and poetry classes to undergraduate students and absolutely loved it. So I decided I would try teaching full time and I moved back to Birmingham to do that.
Even though I love teaching and I grew to love Birmingham I wondered if I’d made a mistake. I missed writing and Birmingham hardly seemed the ideal place for an aspiring media maven.
But it was in Birmingham that I started See Jane Write Birmingham, a networking organization for local women writers, bloggers and journalists. I doubt an organization such as this one would have been very special in a place like New York, but in Birmingham, the residents embraced my idea. I hosted panel discussions, workshops, and networking events and people showed up!
In Birmingham, I also became fascinated with blogging and building online communities. And then finally it hit me: I could start an online blog-style magazine.
And on July 1, 2013 this website was born.
I am convinced that See Jane Write Magazine could have only come to be in Birmingham, in my hometown.
So that’s why I say one shouldn’t be afraid to leave home or to go back.
“It really is all about who you know.”
People say nice guys finish last, but I say that’s a lie.
See Jane Write – both the organization and the magazine – have been possible because of all the connections I have made since I moved back home. I had to start from scratch because I had never lived in Birmingham as a working adult. But I did and still do some sort of networking daily.
And because of these connections when I have See Jane Write events, people show up. When I needed sponsors for the See Jane Write Magazine launch party, a dozen businesses signed up to help out.
People support me because I’m not a jerk. They help me because while See Jane Write does offer something valuable I work to let people know I value them as well — not just as writers or bloggers or business owners — but as beautiful human beings.
In addition to my teaching job and the work I do with See Jane Write, I also freelance for a number of local and national publications. I even have a regular gig with USA Today. But I didn’t get any of those freelance jobs because the editors were impressed by my fancy Berkeley degree. I got them because of people I met during internships, during my full-time reporting job in Louisville, or through See Jane Write. I got them because I’m not only a good writer, but I’m a good person to work with.
There is no need to step on others on your way up. Be kind. Be yourself.